The following is an excerpt from my books, Bumps Along the Way. We had just arrived in Connecticut at my sister's house after four weeks on the road:
The next day I discovered that heroes come in all shapes and sizes. They don’t all wear capes or have a red S on their chest. And they don’t all fly, leap, soar, spin webs or look like a bat. Some heroes, like Fred, are sixty years old, paunchy, balding, wear shorts, and have trouble walking, never mind flying.
Fred and my 73-year-old brother-in-law, Joe, were preparing to make a quick run to the store to buy groceries for an evening cookout. Fred turned to me and asked, “Do you need anything from the store while we’re out?”
I wasn’t feeling up to going with them, and never thinking for a minute that he would agree to it, I said, “Yes, actually, I need lip liner.”
“Lip liner?” he asked, looking at me as though I had just lost my marbles.
“Yes, and it has to be plum. The one I brought from home finally wore out and I had to toss it. Now I have nothing to line my lips with.”
“Lip liner,” he muttered, “and it has to be plum.”
The two men took off, shopping list in hand. I would have sold my soul to be able to watch those two clueless men walking up and down the make-up aisle trying to figure out what lip liner was, what the packaging looked like, and what brand to get. And accomplishing that, checking every color of every lip liner to make sure they got plum.
When they arrived back at the house a couple of hours later, Fred reached in the grocery sack, tossed me a package and said, “There’s your darn lip liner.” I checked and sure enough, it was lip liner and it was plum. My hero is alive and well and racking up husband points faster than I can cash them in.
Travel Tip #1: When you go on a long trip, take plenty of make-up with you.
Travel Tip #2: Take a night light with you to provide light in a strange hotel room or even a guest house.
Bumps Along the Way, http://www.lulu.com/.
If You Don't Like Worms, Keep Your Mouth Shut, http://www.diversionpress.com/.
Coming Soon: Twelve Steps to Becoming an Author, through Unlimited Publishing.
You may write me at noirons@cox.net.
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